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[[nicholle]]


if you'll be my star
i'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
i live to let you shine

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[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 05 Apr 2011|11:44am ]
 i find it completely unbelieveable that catherine has been dead for almost 4 years.
it feels like just yesterday. 
my memories of her are still vivid in my mind. 
i can barely remember what i did last week but i can still remember her voice.
i miss her very much.
i still find it terrifying that i feel like i'll see her again.

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 04 Apr 2011|12:16am ]
[ mood | blah ]

 hmmms. i wonder if we had ever dated how my life would have worked out.
i don't know why he never told me he ever cared about me.
i know he did. 
he just never stated.

'it doesn't matter now' 
that's what he said.
it does matter. to me it does.
it's a question in my life i will never have answered.

i think if he told me he loved me.
i would die.
i would freak. 
in fact, i really don't know what i would do.

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 09 Mar 2011|12:05am ]
 life is just so hilarious sometimes.
you give it another go.
and you get let down again.
but sort of expected it?
oh life.

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 06 Mar 2011|12:39am ]
[ mood | worried ]

 i feel it.
i feel my jaw getting worse.
i feel it happening.
it's terrible. it's making it's self known.
i can't stop thinking about it.
it's on my mind constantly.
it's partly why i got insurance. 
it's creeping up on me.
the day i know that's coming.
i dread it. just thinking about it now is making me tear up.
i can't do it.
i don't think i'll be able to handle it.
i can't fix it.


i'm so terrified.

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 08 Feb 2011|10:47am ]
 i'm so confused =[ =[

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 01 Feb 2011|11:36am ]
[ mood | happy ]

 well i'm pretty sure duston and i have worked things out.
we had a great time last night and i think things are gonna go good.
i'm quite excited.
now i shall wait till 3 till the bestest friend gets off work =]

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 31 Jan 2011|1:48pm ]
[ mood | confused ]

 wellllllll.

i'm at the joan's and rachel's.
i'm not sure if i'm making the right choice.
but then again i don't think i will know if it's the right choice till i really try.
i want to be independent. 
i want to be happy.
being here makes me feel loved.
being around people who actually want to be around me.
yesterday i was trying to communicate to mike.
and of course, he cut me off and started acting like a dick.
i got pissed and walked away.
i don't understand why duston and mike feel the need to treat me like i peon. 
i am a human, i have feelings.
i wanted to be treated like an equal. they are no better than me.

me leaving duston has nothing to really do with david.
i can't talk to duston anymore. he isn't the same.
he feels the need to constantly put me down. 
atleast that's how i feel. i don't feel like i'm worth anything when i'm home.
i just want to be happy again.
i want to be with duston don't get me wrong. but he's not who he was. 
he's different now. he feels like he's better than me and has no problem letting me know that.

[ i'll be your sky ]

[ 17 Jan 2011|3:12pm ]
i feel like i've been shunned.
not to say i don't deserve it.



i am so confused.

[ i'll be your sky ]

oh save me. [ 10 Jan 2011|12:04am ]
[ mood | optimistic ]

 we cut the legs off of our pants
threw our shoes into the ocean
sit back and wave through the daylight
sit back and wave through the daylight

slip and slide on subway grates
these shoes are poor mans ice skates
fall through like change in the daylight
fall through like change in the daylight

i miss yellow lines in my roads
some color on monochrome
maybe i’ll paint them in myself
maybe i’ll paint them in myself

these sidewalks liquid then stone
building walls and an old pay phone
it rings like all through the daylight
it rings like all through the daylight

chorus
and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine
i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

I have five clocks in my life
and only one has the time right
i’ll just unplug it for today
ill just unplug it for today

open hydrant rolled down windows
this car might make a good old boat
and float down grand street in daylight
and float down grand street in daylight

and with just half of a sunburn
new yellow lines that i earned
step back and here comes the night time
step back and here comes the night time

chorus
and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine
i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

[ i'll be your sky ]

19-2000 [ 05 Dec 2010|6:30pm ]
[ mood | blank ]

 hmms. update six months later. 
life has not progressed.


i feel as though i am in a hole. 
a deep hole. mentally.
i'm in an odd place.
i'm making something out of nothing.
squash out of peas.

i'm still trying to find the meaning in my life.
i know where i am happiest.
but is it as i thought?
that's what i'm trying to figure out. 

life is horrifically confusing.

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